20 做一個(gè)更好的傾聽(tīng)者(doc)
20. Become a Better Listener I strongly believe that it is rather important to be a good listener. And although I have become a better listener than I was ten years ago, I have to admit I'm still only an adequate1 listener. 　　Effective2 listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It's being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond. In some ways, the way we fail to listen is symbolic of 3 the way we live. We often treat communication as if it were a race. It's almost like our goal is to have no time gaps4 between the conclusion of the sentence of the person we are speaking with and the beginning of our own. My wife and I were recently at a cafe having lunch, eavesdropping on5 the conversations around us. It seemed that no one was really listening to one another, instead they were taking turns6 not listening to one another.I asked my wife if I still did the same thing. With a smile on her face she said,“ Only sometimes.” Slowing down7 your responses and becoming a better listener aids you in becoming a more peaceful person. It takes pressure from you. If you think about it, you'll notice that it takes an enormous amount of energy and is very stressful to be sitting at the edge of your seat trying to guess what the person in front of you (or on the telephone) is going to say so that you can fire8 back your response. But as you wait for the person you are communicating with to finish, as you simply listen more intently9 to what is being said, you'll notice that the pressure you feel is off. You'll immediately feel more relaxed, and so will the people you are talking to.They will feel safe in slowing down their own responses because they won't feel in competition with you for “ air time10” ! Not only will becoming a better listener make you a more patient person, it will also enhance the quality of your relationships. Everyone loves to talk to someone who truly listens to what they are saying. 做一個(gè)更好的傾聽(tīng)者 我堅(jiān)信做一個(gè)好的傾聽(tīng)者是相當(dāng)重要的。盡管比起10年前，我已成為一個(gè)不錯(cuò)的傾聽(tīng) 者，但我還得承認(rèn)我不過(guò)是個(gè)僅僅夠格的傾聽(tīng)者。 　　真正的傾聽(tīng)不僅僅是改掉在人家說(shuō)話時(shí)或快要說(shuō)完時(shí)打斷人家的不良習(xí)慣，真正的 傾聽(tīng)?wèi)?yīng)該是樂(lè)于傾聽(tīng)對(duì)方的全部思想，而不是不耐煩地等待你應(yīng)答的機(jī)會(huì)。從某些意義 上說(shuō)，我們不善于傾聽(tīng)，就反映了我們的生活方式。我們經(jīng)常視交流為一種接力賽，好 像我們的努力方向便是在我們的交談對(duì)象說(shuō)完他的話和我們張口說(shuō)話之間不留時(shí)間。我 夫人和我最近在一家咖啡館吃午飯時(shí)，偷聽(tīng)周圍人的交談。我們的感覺(jué)是似乎沒(méi)有人真 正在聽(tīng)對(duì)方說(shuō)話；相反他們?cè)谳喠鞑宦?tīng)對(duì)方說(shuō)話。我問(wèn)我夫人是否我也是這樣。她微微 一笑說(shuō)，“只是有時(shí)。” 放慢你應(yīng)答的節(jié)奏去做更好的傾聽(tīng)者，能夠幫助你成為一個(gè)更為心平氣和的人，能夠 幫助你擺脫壓力。如果你好好想一想，你便能悟出：坐在椅邊竭力去猜測(cè)你面前的人(或 電話線那端的人)將要說(shuō)什么，你好噼里啪啦地回應(yīng)一番話，要花費(fèi)你很大的精力，也是 很令人緊張的事。但是你邊等與之交流的人把話說(shuō)完，邊專注于對(duì)方所說(shuō)的內(nèi)容，你就 會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)壓力沒(méi)有了。你馬上會(huì)感到更為放松，你交談的對(duì)象也更為放松。他們會(huì)感到放 慢他們的應(yīng)答沒(méi)有什么不是，因?yàn)樗麄儾槐馗銧?zhēng)“廣播時(shí)間”!做一個(gè)更好的傾聽(tīng)者不僅 能 1.adequate[5“δικωιτ]adj.勉強(qiáng)夠的，差強(qiáng)人意的 2.effective[ι5φεκτιπ]adj.能產(chǎn)生(預(yù)期)結(jié)果的，有效的 3.symbolic[σιμ5βΧλικ]adj.(與of連用)作為象征的 4.gap[⊥“π]n.間隙，間隔 5.eavesdrop[5ι:πζ((((]vi.(與on連用)偷聽(tīng)，竊聽(tīng) 6.turn[τΕ:ν]n.(依次輪流時(shí)各自的)一次機(jī)會(huì) 7.slowdown(使)慢下來(lái)，(使)減速 8.fire[5φαιΕ]vt.猛烈地發(fā)出 9.intently[ιν5τεντ((]adv.專注地 10.airtime[((( ταιμ]廣播時(shí)間
20 做一個(gè)更好的傾聽(tīng)者(doc)