6 我生命中的另一個(gè)女人(doc)
6. That “Other Woman ”in My Life After 22 years of marriage, I’ve discovered the secret to keeping love and intimacy alive in my relationship with my wife, Peggy: I started dating another woman. 　　The “ other woman” my wife was encouraging me to date is my mother, a 72-year-old widow who has lived alone since my father died 20 years ago. Right after his death, I moved 2500 miles away to California and started my own family and career. When I moved back near my hometown six years ago, I promised myself that I would spend more time with Mom. But with the demands of my job and three kids, I never got around to seeing her much beyond family get-togethers1 and holidays. 　　She was surprised and suspicious,then, when I called and suggested the two of us go out to dinner and a movie.“ What’s wrong?” she asked.My mother thinks anything out of the ordinary signals bad news.“ I thought it would be nice to spend some time with you,” I said. “ Just the two of us.” “ I’d like that a lot.” she replied. As I drove to her house, I actually had a case of predate2 jitters3!What would we talk about? What if she didn’t like the restaurant I chose? 　　When I pulled into her driveway, she was waiting by the door with her coat on. Her hair was curled, and she was smiling. “ I told my lady friends I was going out with my son, and they were all impressed4,” she said as she got into my car. “ They can’t wait to hear about our evening.” 　　We didn’t go anywhere fancy, just a neighborhood place where we could talk. My mother clutched5 my arm, half out of affection6 and half to help her negotiate7 the restaurant steps.Since her eyes now see only large shapes and shadows, I had to read the menu for both of us. Halfway through reciting8 the entré es9, I glanced up and saw Mom looking at me, a wistful10 smile on her lips. “ I used to be the menureader when you were little,” she said.I understood what she was saying. From caregiver to cared- for, from cared-or to caregiver, our relationship had come full circle11. “ Then it’s time for you to relax and let me return the favor,” I said.We had a nice talk over dinner. Nothing earth-shattering12, just catching up with each other’s lives. We talked for so long that we missed the movie. “ I’ll go out with you again,” my mother said as I dropped her off13, “ But only if you let me buy dinner next time.” I agreed. 　　“ How was your date?” my wife asked when I got home that evening.“ Nice...nicer than I thought it would be,” I said. She smiled her told-you- so smile. Mom and I go out for dinner a couple of times a month.Sometimes we take in14 a movie,but mostly we talk.I tell her about my trials15 at work and brag about16 the kids and Peggy.Mom fills me in17 on family gossip and tells me about her past. Now I know what it was like for her to work in a factory during World WarⅡ . I know how she met my father there, and how they nurtured18 a trolley-car19 courtship20 through those difficult times. I can’t get enough of these stories. They are important to me, a part of my history.We also talk about the future. Because of health problems, my mother worries about the days ahead. “ I have so much living to do,” she told me once. “ I need to be there while my grandchildren grow up. I don’t want to miss any of it.” I tend to fill my calendar to the brim21 as I struggle to fit family, career and friendships into my life. I often complain about how quickly time flies. Spending time with my mom has taught me the importance of slowing down. 我生命中的“另一個(gè)女人” 經(jīng)歷22年的婚姻，我發(fā)現(xiàn)如何同妻子佩吉保持愛(ài)戀和親密關(guān)系的秘密：去約會(huì)另一個(gè) 女人。 我妻子鼓勵(lì)我去約會(huì)的“另一個(gè)女人”就是我的母親，一位72歲的寡婦。20年前父親去 世后，她一直獨(dú)居至今。就在父親去世后，我搬到了2500英里以外的加利福尼亞，成家 立業(yè)。6年前我遷回到靠近老家的地方，那時(shí)，我曾承諾要花些時(shí)間同媽媽在一起。但是 由于需要兼顧我的工作和3個(gè)孩子，除家庭聚會(huì)和節(jié)假日外，我很少抽時(shí)間去看望她。 　　我打電話(huà)給母親，建議我們倆外出一起吃飯、看電影，她感到驚訝和疑惑?！俺鍪裁?事了嗎？”她問(wèn)，媽媽把任何不尋常的信號(hào)都當(dāng)成是壞消息?！拔蚁敫捕纫欢螘r(shí)光會(huì) 很愉快的?！蔽艺f(shuō)。“就我們倆?！薄澳翘昧?，”她答道。 　　我開(kāi)車(chē)駛往母親住所，竟感到約會(huì)前的緊張不安。我們將談些什么呢?如果她不喜歡 我選的餐館怎么辦? 　　我的車(chē)駛進(jìn)母親家門(mén)前的車(chē)道時(shí)，她已穿好外套等在門(mén)口了。她的頭發(fā)卷好了，面 帶笑容?！拔腋嬖V我的女友們，說(shuō)我要和兒子一道外出，她們都深受感動(dòng)，”母親邊說(shuō)邊 上了我的車(chē)?！八齻兗敝胫牢覀?cè)鯓佣冗^(guò)今天晚上?！?　　我們沒(méi)有去高檔的餐館，只在附近找了一個(gè)便于說(shuō)話(huà)的地方。我的母親緊挽著我的 胳膊，既是出于對(duì)我的慈愛(ài)，也是為了自己能扶著我走上餐館的臺(tái)階。由于她現(xiàn)在的視 力只能看到大致的形狀和模糊的影子，我得為我倆讀菜單。我念到一半時(shí)，抬頭瞥見(jiàn)母 親正看著我，嘴角泛著若有所思的微笑?！澳阈r(shí)候我常念菜單給你聽(tīng)，”她說(shuō)。我明白 她的意思。她已從關(guān)愛(ài)者變?yōu)槭苷疹櫿?，我則從受照顧者變?yōu)殛P(guān)愛(ài)者，我們的關(guān)系倒了 個(gè)個(gè)兒。“現(xiàn)在你該輕松輕松了，讓我來(lái)照顧你。”我說(shuō)。我們邊吃邊談，談得很好。沒(méi) 有談什么大事，只是交談些彼此的生活情況。我們談了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，以致沒(méi)趕上看電影。 “我還想跟你一起外出?！蔽宜湍赣H回去，下車(chē)時(shí)她說(shuō)，“不過(guò)，下次你得讓我請(qǐng)客?！蔽?答應(yīng)了。 　　“你的約會(huì)怎么樣？”那天晚上回家時(shí)，妻子問(wèn)我?！安诲e(cuò)……，比我想的還要好，”我 說(shuō)。她笑了，一副早就料到的樣子。 　　從此我和媽媽每個(gè)月都要外出共進(jìn)幾次晚餐。有時(shí)我們也看電影，但大部分時(shí)間都 是交談。我跟她講工作中的煩惱，也向她夸耀佩吉和孩子們。母親跟我談了許多家長(zhǎng)里 短的事，也對(duì)我講了她過(guò)去的經(jīng)歷。現(xiàn)在我知道了她二戰(zhàn)期間在一家工廠里做工的情況 ，并知道她在那里如何同父親相識(shí)的。在那困難的日子里，他們?cè)谟熊夒娷?chē)上培育了一 段戀愛(ài)史。我對(duì)這些故事百聽(tīng)不厭。它們對(duì)我很重要，是我歷史的一部分。我們也談?wù)?未來(lái)。由于健康方面的原因，母親擔(dān)心著今后的日子?！拔乙龅氖聝憾嘀?，”有一次 她對(duì)我說(shuō)。“我要看著孫子、孫女們長(zhǎng)大成人。我可什么都不想錯(cuò)過(guò)?！?忙于應(yīng)付家庭生活、事業(yè)和朋友關(guān)系等種種事情，我的日程表總是排得滿(mǎn)滿(mǎn)的。我經(jīng) 常抱怨時(shí)光飛逝。與母親共度時(shí)光，使我懂得了放慢生活節(jié)奏的重要。 1.get-together[?⊥εττΕ9⊥εΤΕ(ρ)]n.聚會(huì) 2.predate[πρΙ5δεΙΦΕσ]adj.約會(huì)前的 3.jitter[5δ
6 我生命中的另一個(gè)女人(doc)